Still a fangirl at heart

So I've gotten really busy and combined with some stuff that happened in the fandom, or at least the group of fandom people I know, I've been kind of put off fangirling for a while. So much so that I thought my love for the boys had gradually faded away. Though regretful, I let it.

I was simply not as interested anymore. Though I still want to know about the boys, they don't affect me the way they once did.

Then I got my Tistory Concert DVD (just bought the Bluray because TVXQ is worth it and Tistory is a fantastic concert!). I don't know how to explain it to you. I was just casually watching it while folding laundry. I stopped once in a while to watch. Decided to give them my full attention at the unplugged medley segment.

Oh... they sang fabulously well. My Little Princess... You Only Love... I was so impressed. Then Changmin did the bridge with all the difficult high notes. Perfectly. And I burst out sobbing. I surprised even myself. I cried throughout the medley.

I clutched my chest. Oh my heart...Why did I ever think I was over them. You know I truly love Yunho and Changmin as people. As people I look up to. They're not merely celebrities to me. It's not that superficial. They managed to impress me and move me once again in Tistory. I realised once again why, why I devoted so much of my time and affection to them.

Soon after, my With Concert bluray arrived. *cries* More bursting into tears while watching. You have no idea how good they are. They were already superb but they've outdone themselves yet again. I saw their hardwork, their conviction and their love for the fans through their perfectly executed performances. Their sweat and tears. Oh their tears...

Inevitably, I was reminded of what these two good men had to go through to reach this place. Theirs is a touching and inspirational story which will move even non-fans to tears. Well, it did make me cry for 2 days even when I hardly knew them then. I was also reminded of what their fans had to go through . The fights, the struggles, the heartaches and the uncertainties. Suffer no more my boys and fellow fans, we made it! And now, we just have to wait. They will be back sooner than we know. *sobs*

Of course, I thought about the friends I made along the way ever since I stepped aboard this TVXQ train. The adventures we had together: Shilla SG, Catch Me HK, SmTown SG, TIME Tokyo, WITH Osaka, anniversary meetups, increasing YT views and votes for their Something Comeback.... There are so many precious memories. No, these can't just fade away. They won't.

Now I am more assured then ever that when Yunho and Changmin come back as TVXQ, I will welcome them with a full heart. I would have attended numerous meetups with fellow fans. We would have teared and laughed and spazzed and had a good time, because of the 2 boys we love deeply. I would have missed them so much.

When they come back, I might cry as all these memories start to flood back again. But I will still be their fan. Whether I like it or not, they're part of my life. And they're here to stay.